Step 1 – Keep your cool and don't give too much attention to tantrums
When their children lose their temper, many parents tend to lose patience themselves. This is completely normal, as mood swings often occur during more sensitive times of the day or week, when the child is tired.
When a child's tantrum occurs, take a step back, change rooms in the house, continue your usual activities, and give the child as little attention as possible.
Step 2 – Help them name the emotion they are feeling
The younger the child, the fewer words they have to express what they are feeling. A significant amount of anger can overwhelm a little one who repeatedly tries to make themselves understood or convey a message without success.
Once they have calmed down or are beginning to do so, you can help them put words to their feelings of frustration. "You are upset because you can't finish your puzzle?" for example.
By learning to identify and name the sources of their frustration, the child will, with practice, be able to better recognise and communicate them.
Step 3 – Teach them to express frustration with words, not actions
Often overwhelmed by their own feelings of anger, a child may sometimes resort to hitting or throwing objects.
Make it very clear that you will not tolerate any violent behaviour from them, and if they persist, explain that their actions will have consequences. If they know you will overlook any aggressive behaviour, they are likely to repeat it rather than trying to calm down to get what they want.
Step 4 – Teach them how to calm down
Once your child has learned to recognise the warning signs of anger, you can then show them simple techniques to help calm or at least control it.
Depending on their age, you can guide them by teaching basic relaxation techniques, breathing exercises, focus techniques, or healthy ways to let off steam. Using these methods will help them move past the negative emotion more quickly.
Children's yoga can be particularly helpful: by learning to control their breathing, children learn to calm themselves and cope with negative emotions.